I'm a poor, elderly old dear who's being put through an ordeal most unpleasant during this delicate, valuable phase of my life. This trauma may well be the death of me.

A most obstinate...

Where can I get myself a Gary Glitter tracker? I don't have kids, I don't know any kids, but I won't feel I am protecting this nation's children unless I can pin point the exact location of the...

For three months I've been dating a lovely girl and everything is going just swishingly apart from the fact that she hasn't met my family yet.

My older brother is a lawyer, my sister is a...

I've heard that a big man plans to sneak into my house, steal mince pies, vegetables and booze then leave suspicious packages under my tree. I've tried telling the police but they just don't...

I think my boyfriend is stealing from me. I woke up this morning and all my pubes had gone. Why would he steal them? I mean really! How much can a few wiry, black hairs actually be worth?

My best friend is going out with a cannibal. I know this because I've seen her nibble on a child and throw its remains into a bone pit beneath their house.

I've tried to accept his...

My best friend and neighbour beat me at the life drawing category in a village art show, with her piece "John's wrinkles." I've been drawing John for many years and have never once won an award...

A big man kidnapped me and locked me in a cellar without windows or telephones. I'm terrified and just want to go home.

I know my family are very concerned because I saw a clip from their...